Love like a Goldfish

Did you ever know that a Goldfish only grows the size of the tank it is kept in? How big is your tank?

Are you growing and breaking the glass walls or are you keeping in your same circle to loop over and over again?

As we approach a New Year it’s time to reflect and own our new role in how life will be for us in 2011! The choices are to be in the same place a year from now or an entirely new space. Which do you want?

Here are some questions to ask yourself in preparing to expand your vision for your own future:

1.       Where was love in your life this time last year?

2.       How about six months ago?

3.       What have you done to put yourself outside your comfortable space so others know you are open for dating?

4.       Do you go to the same coffee shops, restaurants, grocery stores or venture out to try new places?

5.       When did you last change your hairstyle? Clothing updates? Create a fresh look for yourself or do you look pretty much the same as last year?

6.       How sexy do you feel? Do you flirt just for fun or keep it all business? Make eye contact with a smile? Or keep focused on your phone to avoid any chance of a spontaneous conversation?

7.       What kind of thoughts do you fill your mind with? Dreams for the future or disappointment about the past? Are you excited for tomorrow or stuck in yesterday?

8.       Do your friends and family know you are looking for a relationship and open to being introduced to people they know?

9.       If someone “bumped” into you how long would it take for them to know you are single and interested?

10.   When is the last time you approached someone you were attracted to, in hopes of making a connection?

Take the time to right down answer in helping you to realize how engaged you are in the process to finding love. It’s easy to say you want someone to share your life with and even to hire a matchmaker but if you aren’t actively projecting your desires to seek someone in your life you can simply let the clock tick on by and wake up in another year at the exact same spot as you are today. However your potential next relationship comes into your life, you need to be ready and embrace the process. Become the leader in your own play of life! Decide to project your desires of love by being daring and alive.

Ask the cute guy at the coffee shop a question and enjoy a little fun flirting. Stop and ask the sweet gal at the gym a question, since you’ve been smiling at her for the last few weeks. Take the plunge and go for it! What’s the worst thing that can happen? They aren’t interested but WOW what a compliment you gave them! But just maybe they are interested and hoped you’d break the ice! Be the person that never misses an opportunity! This is your life, your heart and your dreams! Break the glass walls of your tank and soon you’ll find more people drawn to meeting you!

Professional Matchmaker ~ Jacqueline with Intuitive Matchmaking LLC

Jacqueline The Matchmaker

Holiday Gratitude

Thank you to my wonderful matchmaking clients. As I am surrounded by my passionate desire to see all of you enjoy the greatest love ever, I am reminded that loving yourself first is the best gift ever received.

With the incredible variety of people that have been brought to me on their quest for love, I have found that regardless if they are religious or spiritual they each know they are missing something valuable in their life. Some of my clients are celebrating Christmas today and tomorrow while others are celebrating different holidays and some are not celebrating with symbolism. Each person, just as with traditions, finds their own journey to fulfill their lives. 

I ask you to take pause to reflect today and tomorrow, even if this isn’t your holiday to celebrate. Reflect on the gratitude for all you have to be thankful for since this time last year. Find things that have added joy to your simple day to day routines. Keep in your heart what is most important. Fill your mind with positive words and show uplifting actions when connecting with others.

Keeping your heart open to love is a raw place to be because you don’t always know what else might try to sneak in when you are openly looking for companionship. Sometimes it is hard to let yourself walk the steps to discover love because you carry hurt from a previous lost love and other times you might want love so badly that you don’t watch out for warning signs. Love can feel scary and exciting all at the same time. Best of all love lets you know that you are alive!

The most important part is that you look around your home and heart to think about how life will be enriched when you make room for love. Keep in mind that you already are an amazing gift to yourself and to others so now you can count your blessings for your health, your heart and your ability to seek love once again. Moving closer to finding real love only begins when you love yourself at the purist level. Potential partners are far more attracted to people that love themselves without ego but with personal pride. Showing your strength as 

a person and your tenderness as a human makes you more attractive to another.

Often people focus more on how life will be better once their great love shows up but that implies you need to be saved or fixed by someone else. Remember that you are complete all on your own. Adding someone to your life is to enhance who you are and who they are. This is the gift you give one another. Becoming present with your current self helps you to accept yourself for all you offer, even if there are a few weaknesses that make you human.

As a matchmaker I find that standards people hold for potential or current mates is higher than the standard they hold for them self. Always keep in mind that the more you accept someone for their unique traits, the less they will judge you. Come from a gracious heart and discover one another. This allows you to find the true gift in love and partnership. Enjoy getting to know someone and don’t be surprised that you will likely learn more about yourself as you allow someone else to discover you.

If you are already in a relationship take the time to find gratitude in each other. Watch the “second guessing” comments often made under our breath in moments of frustration or confusion. Focus on the gift you are given that the two of you have chosen to share time and hearts together. Moments we give one another allow us to discover a valuable and precious gift of love that we can only give from our hearts.

I ask of you to take pause this weekend to look at all you can gain by letting someone in your heart and keep your eyes open as life passes on by. Slow things down in your mind and say ‘thank you’ quietly under your breath. Take this moment to allow yourself to be at peace for exactly where your life is at right now. Once you find understanding and peace for today, you can make room for tomorrow.

Thank you for being on my gratitude list and for inspiring me daily to seek the steps to support you on your journey to find love, keep love and enjoy love.

Jacqueline - The Matchmaker

Intuitive Matchmaking LLC

Dating Gift Giving Ideas!

Found someone that you feel is special but you are in the early stages of dating and the holiday season is in full swing? This is an exciting time and an unknown time. Knowing what to do on your journey to find love and happiness is important because every gesture is noted while you are both trying to discover if you have a future or not. The holiday season brings an abundance of varied emotions from everyone. Maybe this is their first holiday single or the first time they realize how much having someone to love is all they really want for Christmas.

As you are setting a new relationship in place it’s important to take the time to do something special as you show the other person they are important and valuable. Keep in mind the joy of giving can be as wonderful as the joy of receiving. Hoping this is the first of many holidays together, you want to keep in mind that it’s not the time to go overboard but to start showing an example of how you like to be treated and how you like to show you care in a relationship.

The tricky part about dating is learning to discover the other person without comparing them to past relationships for ideas on what to do next. It’s important to define an entirely new relationship, with new memories. As you think about a way to symbolize your growing relationship it is important to be very honest with yourself as to the stage the relationship is currently in. If you have dated a handful of times and are just having fun or are you talking about becoming exclusive. This affects your type of gift giving.

Having something special to give in the spirit of giving is much better than giving just for the symbolism of the holiday you are celebrating. This way they can enjoy the spirit of receiving and not feel like they failed by not having a gift for you too.

Here are some gift suggestions:

1.       A little token that captures a memory:

a.       Framing tickets stubs from a fun date you two shared!

b.      Have you had a joke between the two of you? Find something to keep that memory alive. Often the silliest gift are the ones you both with never forget!

c.       Did you meet somewhere special on your first date? Make reservations to go back there to keep building on the memories.

2.       A little TLC:

a.       Does your special date work really hard? Buy them a gift certificate for a massage.

b.      Is getting a babysitter tricky? Buy a gift certificate for a babysitting service to be enjoyed during a future date.

c.       Create a basket of goodies from a lotions and potions shop to encourage a little bit of time to relax.

3.       Building future memories:

a.       Buy flowers in a vase that will be enjoyed to be displayed for all the future times you bring flowers again.

b.      Put together a basket full of goodies you’d enjoy on a road trip and let your special date know you want to share in the treasures inside, as you get to know each other better.

c.       Give a candle in a candle holder for a little symbolism of you when you are gone. You can enjoy replacing candles with future dates!

This is a wonderful time to start setting an example of how you express yourself. Enjoy taking a risk and giving without expecting anything in return. It’s important to keep it simple and kind so you don’t scare off your special date. Some people have a hard time receiving but don’t give up trying. It’s important to help each of you learn to trust and feel safe moving from being single to being in a relationship.

Walk the pace of the one you care about. Sometimes you have to slow down or speed up based on what they need to build assurance and understanding as they too are vulnerable to love.

If you haven’t found someone special to enjoy this holiday with remind yourself to take time to spoil yourself! Keep reminding yourself the way you want to be treated and how you will treat someone else. Focus on the fun it will be to give in the future but for now you can enjoy knowing your time will come for love as long as you keep your eyes and heart open!

Happy Holidays to you!

Jacqueline The Matchmaker

Intuitive Matchmaking LLC

Ready For Love?!

As a professional matchmaker I see time and time again clients that desperately want love. Yet when I introduce them to a potential match, that meets their requirements, they often find something that isn't quite right. This helps them to assure no progress can be made.

Watching people miss out on love shows me how important understanding the process to love is for everyone single and even people in relationships. When we were young love was all about fireworks and excitement in the moment but rarely on the depth of shared dreams and hopes for a future together.

During my years of spiritual work I have worked with numerous married couples wondering if the "grass is greener" and being single would be easier. The feeling of a fresh start gains curiosity in the unknown possibilities.

Just as I share with both singles and married individuals, it's not only about the person you are with but the person that you are! Being single or in a commitment relationship isn't as clear as it may appear.

You can be single by definition yet honestly open to however love finds you. Therefor you are in a commitment to find authentic love and not declare in advance exactly how you feel love with appear to you.

For people in committed relationships, if they are always wondering "what if" they were single and free to explore love with someone new then they are actually single in their relationship.

Being ready for love is something you invite into your life. You can look at the person across the table on your first date or your 100th date with them and realize that today you are going to stop wondering your eyes and heart around the room. Claiming to focus forward and directly with intention will give you a chance to discover someone new or someone you lost in life from taking each other for granted. Giving pause to show gratitude to the person that made time in their life to learn about you.

Remember that both people are important in the relationship, even if it lasts for an hour or a lifetime. Take the time to invite them into your thoughts and discover theirs and soon you might realize the true kind of sparks... the ones that don't ever go out! Because you cared to focus on the other person and soon learned that there might be more to this person than you originally allowed yourself to discover and in turn they might just do the same thing for you!

Be ready for love by showing others that you can love through discovery of one person and not keeping space for all the "maybe" options that might never show up. Embrace the moment to be safe and happy to love again. It can be a beautiful thing that you might miss if you are looking for reasons to not be successful. Instead try to find how it's possible!